Fight Drifting and Casual Sexism at Work

There is no running away from it. Every single person-regardless of economic or social class, gender, designation-should examine their gender biases. There are far too many people I know, who are widely read-conversant in science, politics, business and broad feminist ideas, who themselves promulgate deeply sexist ideas. The source of casual sexism that these social beings-well- read and seemingly broad-minded, remains a mystery to me. Are we just too lazy to examine our beliefs? Or too lazy to act on our beliefs? I’m not sure I’m asking the right questions here.

Here are common examples of sexism at the workplace-said to me by employees spread across the designation spectrum. I’m sure these examples are not uncommon. They’re also not lazy jokes-i.e. they were said in seriousness.  

1. Women are becoming lazy these days and don’t want to enter the kitchen. That’s why I learnt how to cook(man to 8 men and me)
2. Even if you’re working, you’re a girl, no, make some snacks and come for everyone (another man to me in the same audience as 1.)
3. We don’t want to hire a newly-married girl. She’ll become pregnant and go on maternity leave.
4. It is so nice to see two woman being friends-usually we don’t see it. (Said to two women by a man)
5. Why are all the ladies sitting together? Is there a ladies club? (4 women sat together, all the men crowded around their own tables. Alright, this was a lazy joke, but I don’t remember walking up to men in the office and asking them if they were in a men’s club)
6. What are you girls doing, sitting around? (I was standing) Go, mingle with the others (This, after we stopped by all tables to pay our respects to the men. No man was told to mingle with us)
7. Girls shouldn’t be in the same team (my thought: in order to force diversity in the group, force the discomfort on the women)
8. Why are you cutting the cake, the girls are there. They should do this(a man to another man cutting his birthday cake)

I’ll stop there. I’m getting terribly riled up. And I hope you are too, if you’ve read some of those bullet points above this paragraph. How awful it is, that I am in no position to object against such crass sexism. Often, the people who choose to be violently insensitive get away with saying anything they want to, leaving the average receiver of insensitivity, stuttering in anger. 

It is a right damn shame-the conservative Indian industry is so strongly hierarchical that it has the potential to snuff out creativity and positivity. A junior female is at the bottom of the entire system. She is told not to say “No” to any kind of work, because it is important that she learn. Game, she naively begins to say “Yes” to everything-the classic problem-not at all as fun as the It's Always Sunny episode when Charlie says “Yes” to everything.

So, she is asked to sit the entire day-she is an engineer with over a year of work experience-to scan cards. She says “yes” unwillingly. She is at fault here. So she tries to communicate her discomfort to her manager.  And he says-“it may be routine, but it’s your job”. Then the manager’s boss finds out that you’ve been scanning cards and decides to do something about it. Nearly in tears, she tries to tell him how she gets through the day, and he can see her struggle. He decides to help her and give her more challenging assignments, and also trains her in the basics of business. But there is no work for her. Nobody in the office will take her seriously, and will continue to pile on their mundane tasks on her. She is again left stranded. Should she quit? She has spent over a year at the place, and is still being told that she has no decision-making power. She has no path to a future in the firm.

Around her, the men who joined after her, are welcomed warmly into their teams, assigned challenging work, dispatched to training programmes, taught ways to improve their skills and are shown a path to a future in the firm.

Drifting, with no path or set list of tasks, is a brain-sucking place to be in. I chose to  listen to podcasts to cling to a last shred of intelligence in me. I think I hung on to it.

To anyone reading this-fight against drifting-young women, fight even harder. I didn’t. I still haven’t worked up the energy or the courage to fight. I hope you do.

P.S: I say women specifically because I can speak as one. I wouldn’t claim to know what is like to fight any other kind of bias.

Are we worth Saving?

I just watched Michael Moore’s documentary, Fahrenheit 11/9, and all I am left with is that question (Hint: it’s in the title) Can we not go gently into that good night? Haven’t we raged enough? Haven’t we bled enough? Haven’t we destroyed the planet enough?

Right then. These questions are obvious ones to have, especially when we have nothing much to look forward to, as a species, except death and destruction that climate change will wreak upon us-stripping the planet of life and colour. Why then, do I say that the question, “Are we worth Saving?” is irrelevant, and the wrong question to ask?

I have a couple of reasons.

1.     We have no reference of the evolution of intelligent life on any other planet in the universe. Perhaps this is the law of all intelligent life-to rapidly degrade the circumstances that caused them to evolve and exist. (a weak argument to begin with, but  please, bear with me
2.  The food chain evolved as a system of checks and balances-with the grass-decimating deer being devoured by the deer-decimating lion. When life evolves to a degree where an organism rises to the top of the food chain, what checks the rise and rise of this organism? (Hint: It’s not another organism). It is at this stage, that the broad ecosystem goes out of whack, bringing all chains and cycles down with it, returning the system to a smaller, simpler food chain. As a species, we are not in control enough of the planet to decide if we are worth saving or not.     
3. The fundamental condition of an average specimen of any species is to survive and propagate its own kind. However hard we try, we will not be able to collectively will ourselves into extinction. The human race, with all its ingenuity, will bend its natural surroundings, as it has, through its existence, to live. A lot of us will die out. But the species will continue to survive. A few of us will end up saving ourselves.   
4. Why are our (read: human race) problems that important? Animals in the wildlife regularly live in a world where members of their own kind kill them repeatedly. Why do we believe that we are any different? Agreed, we are the intelligent ones, the ones with an evolved subconscious, the one the ability to believe in the stories of law and order-but does that make us independent of the fabric of nature itself? Do we not reproduce, do we not eat to survive (this may change, so maybe reword it to “consume energy in order to survive”), do we not deposit waste? I am not defending murder, in the same way that I am not defending the actions of the human race that lead to climate change. My point is only that we are not as detached from our animal cousins as we think we are. Therefore, the idea of “unworthy of saving” because we kill, torment and oppress members of our own species isn’t a solid enough idea-most animals do it too(we’re working hard to save the lion-an animal that routinely kills babies of its species-from extinction.) We must realise that we are among the majority of the animals of the world.   
5. Since I brushed against the idea in point 4, here it is again: why are we working hard to save animals now? There are conservative centres, hardworking doctors-an entire industry devoted to saving animals. (not that I think we’re doing anywhere near enough to save them-we definitely are NOT) We’re attempting to save the polar bear, the elephant, the tiger et al., because we feel guilty that large populations of animals and plants have been chased to the cliff of extinction by human actions. We want to feel like a wall between these species and the chasm of extinction, and slowly herd them back into safety. We feel guilty. Should the human race also not be subject to that same guilt? Should we not act as our own guard against the extinction chasm?

I’m sure there are other arguments against asking this question(is the human race worth saving?). The only question that remains to be asked is-“How do we save our home now?” That’s a useful question to ask. So, let’s ask that one instead, and let’s try and find answers to that bigge. Burying ourselves in the idea that we aren’t worth saving is not only passively unhelpful, it is also actively detrimental to the fight against climate change, to the fight for our lives (is there a better motivation?). We could, instead, armour up, hold our spears out and slam our visors shut(or pull pollution masks on).  Battle hard, my fellow sapiens-our lives depend on it.  

The Endless Staircase

Clickety-clack go the keys

As I walk around the room

There’s a dull cough, a sneeze

When I walk around the room

I hear the low complaints

As I squeeze around the chairs

The carpet bears food stains,

Coffee spills, flimsy tears.

I stop by a chatty crowd and I

Talk to a few mindless heads

Smiling, holding back a sigh

At the chatter of the talking heads

My clique talks the future loudly

In a manner that draws eyes

We wear our badges proudly

As leaders, ignoring the eyes

We swoop past people

Importantly, we laugh,

Coldly over a shake, a steeple,

Nods and low coughs

We look at each other

Scoffing comfortably in

The irrelevance, the bother

Of those who matter less

Slowly the smiles turn plastic

And faces begin to turn away

As if I were slow, a little thick-

Skulled, and utterly wasteful

They swoop past me

Importantly, they laugh

Coldly, and wear proudly

Their badges of importance

Circles of influence have formed

Near and around me with

Their backs towards me, turned

To a star of influence.

Someday, I whisper and go home.

Hurry.

Easily in Love, falling for

The idea of a bright future

Of an existent one at that

Drawing forecasts, hearts

And on a flimsy thread tying

One life to everyone else’s

We breathe together under

The winds of the night that

Come quickly, and leave us quickly

Letting us swirl mindlessly in

Warm mists and yellowing afternoons.

Baby Boomers, millennials, dreamers.

Broad strokes, lacklustre colours.

Hurry, attach meaning to moments

And Ideas. They will fade quickly from

Existence. Much like the night around us does.

We’ll watch, I say, as little puffs of clouds

Grow larger and larger and surround us

In their warm embrace.

We’ll stay and watch, and

survive under a reddening sun,

And laugh past growing waves of water.

Come, hold my hand, you say

We’ll watch, we say

As colour fades to grey

And waters gush eagerly around us.

We’ll somehow find a way, you say.

We hold hands and wait.